Friday, March 12, 2010

Stressed Out

So today I can't really handle anything.

I'm at work. I don't want to be here. But I'm here. My husband is sick. Alina ate cookies this morning for breakfast and theres crumbs on her floor. Again. So discouraging.

I'm tired. I can't sleep much. Brent made fun of me this morning for how much I'm squirming when I sleep.

I'm reading online about induced labor and trying to comfort myself. All the stuff that is potentially problematic is for people that aren't dialated, haven't had kids, had c-sections previously, are having issues with the baby or placenta or whatever. None of this is me. But I'm still worried about it. Everything I've heard is that on subsequent babies (not the first birth) it's fast and quick and awesome. It doesn't matter. I'm still freaking out.

I think I'm just totally out-of-whack emotionally and hormonally. I'm not ready for this. I'm not. But I'm so beyond ready for not being pregnant. I'm staying away from Brent's work because I'm liable to scream at his bosses... he's on closing shift again. I'm staying in the back at work because I'm liable to scream at customers... they're always stupid. I'm on the brink of tears and I don't know why.

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