Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My Life Lately

Well its been quite a week.

Both cars are broken. We'd been fighting with the neon for some time - the transmission was slipping, it needed new tires, a new hose, a refitted something or nother and finally it needs a new tensioner which has something to do with the belts that make your alternator (and effectively the power), the air conditioning, the power steering, and something else too all work.... and so we parked it thinking we'd just drive the suzuki since we can basically share a car being on opposite schedules.

And then the suzuki decided to quit. We paid to have it towed to Lynn's shop, Brent was thinking its the timing belt but Lynn didn't think so and it's still over there being looked at and worked on and we're praying its an easy fix.

In case its not we looked at buying a car... not what we wanted to do but may have been necessary. We were going to trade the Neon in for however much they'd give us (about $500 at the most) and finance a car... But they wouldn't do it in my credit (which is substantially better than Brents) because I'm not working for another 4 weeks.... and they wanted an extra $700 along with the trade in to do it in Brent's name. *sigh* We talked them down to $500 down along with the car and we decided to think on it.

Then I talked to Tamara who told me she'd loan me her van (3rd vehicle) if we could get it working. It needs a replaced timing belt. Basically the deal is that if Brent gets it running, we can use it for as long as we need it - even several months. So that van is in our driveway to be worked on as well... but is a 14 hour job so it will be a week or two and replacing the belt doesn't guarantee that the engine wasn't ruined when the belt broke... so its a 50-50 chance that the van will be a help.

Tamara and Brian came over with pizza last night and we watched The Blind Side (great movie, I highly recommend it!). They are letting us borrow their Blazer (2nd vehicle) and Tamara will take Brian to work (he's a trucker and is gone for like 3 days at a time) in their pickup. So, that's pretty awesome. I have been really stressed about the car situation but at the same time, I was really really blessed to know Tamara and Brian and have them care about us making a bad financial decision that was being forced because we had no other options.

I really think that given 3 or 4 days we will probably have the suzuki and the van working. I didn't want to commit to $300 a month for 2 years right when we got on our feet money-wise. Brent was very understanding. Although, when we do go to buy a car (maybe next tax season) we are totally getting a station wagon. We looked at a Ford Tarus that seated 8 and Brent and I both fell in love.... yes, I think we will have more babies. Not yet. But yes, I think we will.

Aside from the car issues -- Judah and I went to the cardiologist today. The pediatric doctor wanted to check on him because he had a murmur. The echo-cardiogram showed a small hole in the muscular wall between the left and right atrium at the bottom of his heart. Sometimes they close on their own. Sometimes they don't. Holes in babies hearts can affect their ability to grow -- because their heart can't work as hard as other people, they get tired faster and they don't eat as much or as well. And, Judah only gained 2 oz in the last week which is substantially less than his previous pattern.
The cardiologist also mentioned that his aortic valve is partially sealed but that wouldn't be an issue at all and if it were an issue, it wouldn't be until he's middle aged. We go back in 4 weeks to check on his little heart again.
I'm taking extra care for the next 4 weeks to write down and time his feedings moreso than just waiting for him to wake up and feed.... he does sleep alot, but I might just be freaking out and thinking normal 2-week-old sleep patterns is "alot"

I broke down in tears when I was telling Tamara about what the cardiologist said. I don't know why I'm freaking out - I know it will heal quickly and we'll have Judah prayed over at church... but I'm emotionally worn out, I think, and I'm just so glad to have friends and a hubby to talk to.

Pray for us.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Quick update

So we're getting used to Brent's being on nightshift. It's an adjustment and I don't know what to do with myself when Brent's in bed and I'm trying to watch all three kids... but we'll adjust. And, right now, Sats and Suns are the only days I have all three and that's a GOOD thing. I don't sleep well at night. This has been very emotional for me to adjust to - though I'm trying not to make it too hard on Brent. I've never slept alone in the bed since we moved in together when we were 18. Not a single night. This is new and different and its really really really really hard. A pile of pillows shaped like a man just doesn't do it.

Judah's sleeping well at night - waking about 3x at night to eat -- that's pretty much perfect. If I were able to sleep better I'm sure I wouldn't be so tired! I'm debating taking some Advil PM to knock me out so I won't notice Brent's absence... I haven't tried that yet... not really in my ethical beliefs, especially since I don't take meds for hardly anything...

We started Alina in pull ups 3 days ago. 2 days at the sitter with no sucess. Today I had her at home and all 5 times that I asked if she wanted to go to the potty she said yes and all 5 times she peed in the potty!!!!! This is a huge leap forward! I knew knew knew KNEW that eventually she'd understand and do it. It's like she just woke up this morning and said "you know what? I'm gonna pee in the potty all day." I think she only peed in her pull up one time. She had a poopy diaper first thing in the morning and usually only poops once a day (sorry, TMI, I know) so we didn't have to deal with that. It was SO exciting.

OKAY I need to go back home and be close to my kids. I'm updating from my M-I-L's across the street cuz she has internet. I think I'm done washing dishes and laundry for the day and I'm gonna play the Sims 3 which Brent gave me for my birthday (Wednesday) but I have yet to touch it because of errands and chores and spending all day Friday out with Tamara just playing and talking. So I'm gonna go loose my mind in someone else's world - a video game version of my family and my house doing chores in virtual world instead of the real world. And yes. I know it's stupid, but I find it very entertaining!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Quick Moment Away

So I've somehow grabbed the ten minutes needed to update my blog and put pictures up. There's been so much that's gone on lately I have to just generalize my life and breeze through the last week or so and I'll go into detail later if I find time.

-- Sunday, the 14th, I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart all day long. I kept waiting on them to get closer and stronger... Eventually I was at about 3 minutes apart and going pretty much insane and they were hurting alot more. We went to L&D. No progress. 3cm, but a bit more effaced than last time -- 75% instead of 50% -- but the nurse said its hard to tell what some would call 50%, others might say was 70% so... they kept me for an hour, no change. They let me walk half an hour. I was in pain. I was going crazy. I was still having contractions regularly. No change. I went home with a shot of morphine.

-- Tuesday at 5:45am we showed up to be induced. Waited. Checked in, Waited. Changed, waited, edema, IV, checked me. 3cm and 75% effaced, though still contracting strong enough to see it on the machine - everyone was puzzled as to why I wasn't making change. I started worrying I'd have a c-section. started pitocin around 8am. Stronger, closer, stronger, closer. No change. Doctor came to see me around 11am and broke my water -- which escalates the pain of labor about 5-fold. About 1pm I was hurting, starting to want to push. Nurse checked me - 6 cm (HALLELUJAH!). But, don't push honey, you still have a way to go. I got upset and started stressing out because the doctor wasn't around. She said we still had a way to go and not to worry, that the doctor would be there before the baby came. 4 contractions (about 8 minutes?) later, I was at 10cm. Another doctor from the practice (the one who delivered Raziel) meandered in to check on me and said he'd deliver the baby - suited up and 20 minutes of the most excrutiating pain in my life later - Judah was born. His head was a whopping 38cm -- a normal baby's head is 32-34cm -- hence all the issues with him putting me in false labor and not moving along. I am very proud of myself - I did it natural again, just with the IV pain meds. I was in control of my breathing and myself the entire time with an exception of about 5 minutes between 6cm and 10cm when I lost it and the nurse had to get up in my face and yell at me to get me to calm down. I needed it because I couldn't get a hold of myself. I'm pretty sure I called her a bitch but I made it a point to tell her after I delivered Judah that she was a fantastic nurse and thank you for doing it with me.

-- Alina and Raz came to visit that night -- Alina was suprised that he was "like a real baby" and Raziel was uninterested. Since then, Alina has become a great big help -- giving him his pacie when he cries in the car, telling me when he's upset, etc. Raziel has gotten jealous and as a result is demanding alot more cuddle time and general attention. We'll make it.

-- Thursday we went home and my mom came. This has been the fastest recovery in my entire baby-having experiences. They ran the pitocin for 2 hours after I delivered and that apparently makes a big difference. A week later, I'm hardly bleeding at all and my milk is already established and I was only over-producing for a day or two.

-- My mom stayed with us Thursday -- Monday. She was a great big help with the older two, and she did all my dishes and laundry and took all the trash. Of course, it's Wednesday night and I have 2 loads of laundry and a sink full of dishes.... no trash bags to take to the dump yet, though!

-- Saturday, I got an awesome changing table for $55. I wonder why I haven't bought one of these before! I'll post a picture later....

-- Sunday we went to church and the pile of diapers has grown to a huge massive mound... I am excited because we won't have to buy diapers for like 3 months. Alina is starting in pull ups as of tomorrow because I can't handle potty training in panties but we gotta start trying more consistently.

-- Monday, Brent and I went shopping for a computer for film editing. We had a few quotes for a desktop with everything we were needing -- between $900 and $1200. We went over to Bestbuy and got an AWESOME combo with all the stuff we needed and it came with a bunch of software and such... paid $750 and got a free printer. I'm excited because Brent says it has photoshop (though I haven't found it yet). Still no internet at home, but walking in the right direction.

-- Today, Brent went back to work. He apparently was fired - or had been but they changed their minds and didn't want to tell him they'd fired him... Instead he was demoted and moved out of the shop and on to night shift (10pm-7am). They claim its because of a tire job that Brent was involved in that went bad - though Brent did his job correctly and had the customer sign a waiver stating Walmart wasn't liable because of the issues the tire already had before he fixed it and it was Brent's boss that ended up making Walmart liable by paying to have it fixed again. Anyways, Brent and I are pretty sure that the real reason is because Brent took off a week and a half during a time that wasn't convenient for them and they were mad... so that is FMLA retaliation... so we're seeing a lawyer this week to see if we have a case. FMLA laws state that an employer has to give paternal leave with the birth of a baby and that they have to give you your same job and same pay when you come back... this is a pay cut and a demotion. FMLA retaliation cases are awarded alot of money -- like $300k plus costs and lawyer fees.... And, on top of this, Walmart doesn't usually take the time to go to court over things... they just pay settlements because it costs less... so we'll see how that goes.

-- My 23rd Birthday is today. I have to say that this has been the lamest birthday ever, LOL. Life as a grown up is so different. I ran errands, took Judah to a doctor appt, applied for foodstamps, etc all day and hardly have time to sit and relax. But, it's really okay.

-- Last but not least. The pediatritian has found a heart mumur in Judah. He said that it doesn't sound like a Stills heart mumur (which is the harmless kind). He waited it out a week to see if it went away, like Raziel's did (they found one and a week later couldn't hear it anymore). It didn't go away. Today the dr listened to his heart for about 15 minutes. Finally, he gave me an appt to have an EKG and a chest x-ray done, and is setting up an appt with a cardiologist. *sigh* I would probably be freaking out but I was terrified with Raziel and then they didn't find anything so I'm just slightly concerned right now and will allow myself to truly freak if they find something. Good thing medicaid pays for all these tests.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Info on Inducing

So... I called my OB since I was freaking out. I talked to a nurse. She said she was sorry no one explained everything the other day when they scheduled my induction.

She said really that with 2 sucessful, positive delivery experiences, this should be cake. Basically, they'll start me on the pitocin just to efface my cervix - since its already dialating. She said they probably won't have to do anything extra - like using gells to soften or strip it - to get it to efface. She said really that Judah just isn't interested in coming for some reason so they're gonna give me some pitocin to kickstart the labor and she doesn't think they'll even have to give me that much of it to get things going. Once my body realizes it needs to deliver this baby, things will go along just like clockwork and baby will come right along.

She also said that the reason that they're inducing - since there aren't any issues besides my recent weightloss - is that research is showing more and more babies that are carried to the actual 40 week mark and after are having issues moreso than babies that come at 38 or 39 weeks. (I'm at 39 as of Monday). Alot of babies get too big, they run out of amniotic fluids, and a chance for a c-section is actually increased every day the baby stays in there past due. More and more OB's are opting to induce labor a technical week early because its better for mom and baby.

I asked her about the difference between breaking my water or starting me on pitocin. She said its basically apples and oranges - some doctors perfer one to the other. In our case, Dr Stucky wants to start me on pitocin and get my body doing its thing so things can be as natural as possible. Breaking my water too early could cause infection or increase risk of a c-section if baby doesn't want to come... he's not worried about me personally, its just the way he does it.

Altogether, the nurse said to plan to have baby that day. This made me laugh. Really? isn't that the point?!?! But basically, what I needed to hear, I got to hear. I needed someone to look at my medical charts and history and say "honey, this should be cake" and "they're really just gonna give you a little bit to start things, and your body will take over and do its thing" and "your medical history for delivery is really good - your gonna take really well to this whole process and it should be quick."

I guess I'm relaxing a little bit. I'm trying to stay low-key today.

Although I found it very amusing because my boss had a little meeting with me and the other girl who's taking over for me about new expectations and numbers and performance and such.... and how it was gonna happen in this location.... I tried to pay attention, honest, but I'm not even coming back to this location after the baby comes -- I'm going to Dalton. So I am here for today and tomorrow and then taking off 6 weeks and then working in a bigger store... so why even include me in the conversation? I don't know. Oh well.

Stressed Out

So today I can't really handle anything.

I'm at work. I don't want to be here. But I'm here. My husband is sick. Alina ate cookies this morning for breakfast and theres crumbs on her floor. Again. So discouraging.

I'm tired. I can't sleep much. Brent made fun of me this morning for how much I'm squirming when I sleep.

I'm reading online about induced labor and trying to comfort myself. All the stuff that is potentially problematic is for people that aren't dialated, haven't had kids, had c-sections previously, are having issues with the baby or placenta or whatever. None of this is me. But I'm still worried about it. Everything I've heard is that on subsequent babies (not the first birth) it's fast and quick and awesome. It doesn't matter. I'm still freaking out.

I think I'm just totally out-of-whack emotionally and hormonally. I'm not ready for this. I'm not. But I'm so beyond ready for not being pregnant. I'm staying away from Brent's work because I'm liable to scream at his bosses... he's on closing shift again. I'm staying in the back at work because I'm liable to scream at customers... they're always stupid. I'm on the brink of tears and I don't know why.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Very Acomplished

Well I had to unexpectedly change my day off to Wednesday because when I picked up the kids Tuesday night Alina was acting really strange - moody and tired and quiet (what?) and Beverly said she had been acting that way for the last hour or two even though she'd had a long nap.

She slept for a while on the way home. Then she threw up.

And again and again and again for about 2 hours. Repeatedly. Anything I gave her to drink came right back up. I put her in bed at about 9:30 when she had kinda stopped puking every 5 minutes. She slept well and didn't throw up again.

But I opted to keep the kids out of daycare on Wednesday. My mom had a rule of thumb about being puke-free for 24 hours before returning to the normal public, and I apply that to daycare for the sake of the other children. Turns out that it was just a 5 or 6 hour bug... probably what I had on Saturday because Brent got it on Monday and almost got sent home sick, but was fine by dinner time. So the kids were a lot of fun all day Wednesday.

They played together in Alina's room alot. I got everything cleaned. We got up and got dressed and went out to the family dollar store by our house (ok 15 minutes but it's the closest thing to us) and I spent about $30 on things like dog food, a new mop and cleaning supplies (as if I didn't already have alot I just wanted a few different things like pine sol).

Alina and I spotted this porcelin tea set for $5 and bought it. (turns out that was a great deal - its $13 on amazon!) I'm very excited about this because she's been having tea parties in her room with a plastic set she got for Christmas in the morning before we wake up. Problem being that she gets water from the bathroom and makes a mess. It's just water, but it was getting to be a problem. So she was really excited because it's a "real" teaset instead of plastic. She told Raziel that he could not play with it because he would break it and she would cry. I made her wait till the end of the night to pull it out, and we've made its proper place up high where she can't get it (even with a chair) because she is to use it only with mommy and daddy's permission. She was super mad about that this morning. I caught her pulling the highchair around the kitchen this morning (she hadn't realized it was too high up yet) and I told her she was not allowed to get her teaset down by herself and she threw a royal fit. But, I think it's better this way. She's not interested in having tea parties in her room anymore, and that's a for sure plus.

Altogether, I cleaned, swept and mopped every room in the house. I washed all the laundry and all the dishes and the kids got baths. The house is BEAUTIFUL. I even went through our file box and re-organized everything (Raziel got into it the other day and I got there just in time to take my marriage liscense from him). I filed the things we needed and got rid of old stuff we didn't need anymore (like old electric bills from the apartment -- why did I even have those?) I tried to move around my husband's bowflex attachments to a more convienant storage space and that was a for-sure negative. I pulled on the first piece and said "yeah those don't look so bad where there are" because man - they were heavy.

And, my theory didn't work. I was hoping that with all the moping and cleaning and such-what-not, I would go into labor. I hear lots of stories of women whose water breaks when they're scrubbing baseboards. No such luck. Oh well. Tuesday it will be.

But it was a nice day altogether. I put Raziel in bed around 8 and then Alina and I made chocolate chip cookies (well we baked the premade stuff) and had a tea party and then she went to bed. Then, I made fajitas and laid out a nice dinner - candles and tablecloth and all - and had it ready just as Brent walked in the door. He'd had a bad day, and I wanted him to be able to relax. I even rubbed his back whenever we laid in the bed. He was pretty happy. I was glad.

So I really feel like yesterday was a very acomplished day. I took care of my kids, hubby, and cleaned my house. My back hurt by the end of the day and I was glowing with sweat and exhaustion, I'm sure, but that's okay. Everyone was well provided for and I'd be proud to have anyone visit my home today. That's the way it should be.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

In the Meantime

So we have a date... in the meantime;

I can't sleep
I'm sick to my stomach
I'm tired
I'm grumpy
I have to work
I want to be in bed
I need to clean my whole house
I need to relax some
I'm lightheaded
I'm grumpy again

I don't know what I'm supposed to do really... waiting around like this is miserable because I still know I could have Judah before the 16th and I still know the induction might be awful. I feel nauseated but am not puking. I feel like it could be any day, he's setting so low.... I'm about to explode. Every tiny little thing is irratating me and I'm likely to loose my mind.

On the upside, our church chose to shower us with diapers. We were given 2 jumbo boxes and about 4 regular packs of sizes 1, 2 and 3. This is great because not only am I stocked up for Judah, they were also considerate enough to include diapers for the older ones. Darien says there's more coming, too. Wooohoo! Diapers are so expensive!

Anyways. In the meantime, I'm moody and irritable and trying hard to be a nice person but it can be so hard. I'd really like to post a sign that says "no the pregnant girl didn't have her baby yet, but she's due any day now" so I don't have to answer that question anymore. I'm tired of having way-too-personal conversations with everyone in the world about whether or not I've had any gushes of fluids or bloody shows or contractions or dialation or effacement. I personally don't care what you do for a living, I still don't want to talk about my personal areas - like my cervix and birth canal - with you, some random lady who I will never see again, I'm sure.

I'm tired of being told 5 or 6 times a day that if I really want to have that baby then do xyz. Believe me, none of your home remedies are working. I researched online and have tried EVERYTHING! The only stuff I haven't tried is the stuff that is specifically old wives tales that are discredited due to possible health issues... Like I haven't tried that herb... black something or other... because they say not to use it if you have an iron deficiency, which I do. But yes. I've tried walking and spicy food and all your other way-too-detailed ideas and it's not working so stop trying to help!

Ech. See? This is my mood lately. It's tough not to be mean to people.

Monday, March 8, 2010

March 16th is the day!

Ok so I went to my OB today for a regular appointment (though I think I've been seen 2x in between - once at the office and once at L&D). Here's the latest:

I've lost 7lbs (yes, LOST) in the last 3 days. Not good.
Baby is healthy. Hearbeat is strong, he's still moving around. Good.
I'm still 3cm. *sigh*

Dr Stucky went ahead and scheduled to induce me. YAY!!!

Ok so I wasn't sure if I wanted to be induced until today but in light of loosing 7lbs between Friday afternoon and Monday morning, I think it's a good idea. I had a bit of a stomach bug on Saturday but I ate decently and I ate all right on Sunday too... I don't know why I lost 7lbs. The nurses and such seemed to think it was just the tummy bug but it wasn't that bad and didn't last that long and its hard to believe 7lbs was wrapped up in a little bit of diarrhea... I am prone to think something else is up and so that provokes me to want to make sure the baby comes on along before we have more issues. If I loose any more weight, it'll be bad... I've only gained about 25lbs this whole pregnancy.... its not like I have alot to work with.

So baby's due date is now March 16th. We check into the hospital at 6am to start the induction and it might be a nasty labor but it'll be quick I'm sure... my body knows what it's doing, we just have to convince it to really go into labor instead of playing around... and we're waiting a long time too... 39 weeks guestation - that's a pretty lengthy pregnancy really. Plenty of time for baby to develop fully and he already weighs like 7lbs anyways (according to the ultrasound on Friday) so he's gonna be just fine.

I hope it's not as bad as everyone says.

Sunday I couldn't get out of the bed, though, I was in too much pain. Contractions all day long.... and no progress (still at 3cm this morning). I'm exhausted really, and can't physically do this another 2 or 3 weeks until Judah decides to come along. We've tried everything possible to induce naturally... every trick in the book, believe me... nothing is working.

They're still telling us it could be any day.... I tend to laugh at that now. I've resigned myself to plan for his arrival on Tuesday and schedule everything around it... becuase he doesn't seem interested in coming any sooner than that. So, this week I work Monday - Saturday with Thursday off. I may or may not work Saturday, depends on how I feel really. I'm gonna get my house all clean (its not too bad right now) and get all the trash taken to the dump and the laundry and such caught up. I'll go grocery shopping and prep some meals. Then, Monday I'm taking it easy, going to bed early, and we'll go in first thing Tuesday and have him bright and early... be in the hospital till Thursday morning probably and come on home to a clean house and pre-made meals and enjoy a week with my hubby and new baby and my mom (who's coming to stay for a few days too). The older kids will go to daycare during the day and let me rest, and come home to hang out with the new baby.

The end is in sight. And no matter how many people say "oh just wait and see, you'll schedule this induction and your water will break tonight" I don't think he's coming until the 16th.

And I'm okay with that.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Life of a Working Momma

Show Us Your Life with Kelly's Korner

Today at Kelly's Korner we're doing Show us you're life: Your Typical Day

First, for my new-comer Kelly's visitors;

This is Alina. She's 3 years old and very intelligent and articulate but is very small for her age group. (28 lbs)

And this is Raziel. He's 18 months and short (5th percentile) but almost as big as his sister (25 lbs). He doesn't really talk yet, but I think that's mostly because his sister does it for him!

And we also have me and my husband Brent and we are 38 weeks pregnant with a baby boy we are going to name Judah Aiden. My hubby and I both work full time jobs. I'd love to be a SAHM but we can't afford it yet (I get paid more than Brent does...)

So, here's my typical day!

7:30am the alarm goes off the first time.

8:00am ish (LOL) This is when we roll out of the bed. By this time, Alina and Raziel are already awake and playing quietly in their rooms. I stumble into the kitchen and make a bottle for Raziel who happily greets me, throws me the empty bottle he had last night and takes the new one. We then shower, change diapers, get dressed, brush hair, teeth, and put on shoes, socks and jackets.

8:30am we load up into the car. Brent goes to work alone and I take the youngins to Beverly (the sitter/daycare lady)

10:00am I arrive at work (yes I drive about an hour an a half every morning... I will be moving to a better location after maternity leave and only drive about 30 minutes in the mornings.)

10am -- 6pm I work at a Sprint store. I sell phones to some people, and fix other people's bills. Mostly, I am a service and repair technician. I'm the one that takes your phone apart and fixes the insides. It's really a cool job!

6:30pm I arrive at home and start making dinner. Sometimes I start a load of laundry, or straighten the house up while I'm doing this. Brent gets home with the kids by 7ish and we have dinner together at the table (sometimes) or watch an episode of Dora or something of that nature, depending on what kind of mood everyone is in.

8:30pm The kids go to bed. I make breakfast for Alina (usually crackers and juice) and leave it in her room because she wakes up so early and it's better if she has food readily available than when she goes into the kitchen on her own. Both of the kids go down really really well. Raziel will drink a bottle and just relax and go to sleep on his own. I kiss him when I put him in his crib and that's usually the last I hear of him. Alina has particular things she has to have to fall asleep happily; the fan/space heater has to be turned on, she has to have her pacie, and she has to be in pajamas. If all these are right, she'll fall right to sleep as well.

9:00ish Brent and I settle in for the night. We usually watch an episode of Prison Break, Lost, Desperate Housewives, Naruto, or Psych and talk for a bit before actually going to sleep. Sometimes Brent will stay up late and play video games instead. We usually are asleep by 11pm. I love these 2 hours of the night because we get to spend them together and just relax.

I'm not crazy

This is from lunch the other day.... I thought it was adorable :-)

Good news: I'm not crazy
Bad news: I'm still pregnant

I went to the OB this morning because I was hurting - really hurting badly. It wasn't contractions, but the pain was sharp and different. The best way to describe it was that Judah has a little knife in there and he's sticking my cervix or whatever else is down there with it.

So, Cheryl wanted to make sure everything was okay. So, she checked everything, baby's heartbeat is good and strong, and of course, no signs of labor and no more dialation or effacement. We went ahead and did an ultrasound too because she wanted to check all my fluids and the baby and such - which are all perfect, placenta is good and consistent, everything's perfect. We got to see him really really well too... here's his little face -- you can see his lips and nose very well.

What they did find is that Judah is VERY low (of course, I coulda told you that). Cheryl says he is "stationed" low and pretty much won't have to travel very far whenever he decides to show up. But, his little head is pressed up against a pelvic bone and has probably pinched a nerve in between. Basically, every time he shifts, turns, sneezes, anything -- he pushes against that nerve a bit more and that causes alot of pain and therefore (in a stressful situation) will kick me into false labor along with it. The positioning of him against that bone won't be a problem in labor (thank God) but will be uncomfortable and painful in the meantime.

I told Cheryl that as long as the baby's okay, I'm okay with waiting. I don't want him to come too early. If he's not here, he's not here and that's okay. It's silly to be impatient to the extent that I can't wait for my baby to be fully developed and such so I'm trying to keep that additude and avoid inducing the medical way.

I will, however, be trying accupressure massage this weekend. 93% of women go into labor within 48 hours after an accupressure massage. So, it's worth a try. And, if my body isn't ready, I won't go into labor. If they break my water then we HAVE to deliver him regardless of who's ready or not ready. I really want to avoid that... although I may feel differently about it in a few days, you never know. Really, if I have gone through natural labor 2x with no epidural then surely I can hang on another week or two without dying. And, it's kinda silly to be so die-hard about not using an epidural and then saying "oh, ok, let's just dump pitocin and other foreign chemicals into my body to induce labor because I'm not comfy anymore."

Pray he comes soon.... I'm still hurting regardless of the newfound explinations!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Nope, Not Yet

Still waiting.

On what? Judah, of course. I've had 2 or 3 good days where I was comfy and got things acomplished and so on and so forth, but I am exhausted today. We went to bed last night at 10 but I was wide awake till midnight... Brent fell right asleep but I didn't at all.

Today I hurt, I'm uncomfortable, I'm tired, I'm achey and my stomach (like the food and digestion part) hurts like I haven't eaten but I have and I'm not hungry. Nothing is appetizing. Nothing is comforting. Nothing feels good. I didn't get out of bed well this morning. I was awake at 7:15 when Brent got up to work on his car, but I couldn't (litterally couldn't) get up until about 8:20.

If I don't start feeling better I'm gonna call the OB and see what I need to be doing to help myself out here. We've tried every single home remedy we can think of and Judah just isn't coming. They're talking about breaking my water to induce the labor, but I just am not sure I want to induce because there's probably a reason he's not here yet - he's not ready. If he was ready he'd be here.

I'm trying to be positive and such... I'm really trying. Today is harder.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Another OB Appt

Bright and early to the OB at 8:20 and boy was she suprised to see me, still pregnant, waltzing through the office to see her. OK, I have to admit I'm suprised too. But, baby's heartbeat is strong, blood pressure is normal, negative on the strep B test.... and checked at 3 cm and the cervix is much more presented than it had been last week. (they always complain about how hard it is to reach before I'm ready to deliver)

Cheryl says I'll have him soon. She's suprised I didn't have him the other night when I went to the hospital for 6 hours. I was too. She said that if I make it to next weeks appointment, she'll go ahead and schedule an appointment at the hospital to break my water. Since I'm already a 3rd of the way there, why not, right?

Brent and the kids are coming to have lunch with me today at work. I'm excited. I love having lunch with the fam when I'm working. I scoured the house top to bottom yesterday - Brent says nesting must have kicked in. I even dusted the ceiling fans and brushed away cobwebs from the ceiling. I figure it was my last chance to really clean. All the dishes, all the laundry, even old cuboards I'd avoided cleaning out for the last 6 months. It's all clean now.

Today I'm sick to my stomach. I must've eaten something that isn't setting right. Or I'm in labor. Never know. I am at 3 cm after all. I'm hot then cold too. Wonderful, right? Still just waiting. I'm not gonna sit at the computer much today - the stool has no back. I'm gonna have to sit in the chairs in the service center because they have support. I feel pretty crumby right now but I hope that's the start of a good thing.