Thursday, June 17, 2010

Life Lately

Life as I know it has changed.

These past few weeks and the ones upcoming is my life upside down being re-defined. I've had to realize this week as we've gone through the process that my picture-perfect is nothing like what God's idea is... and I'm learning to be okay with that.

1) I work 10-7 in Hixson. I'm the store manager now, and responsible for ALOT more than I was in Cleveland. I make a whole extra 35c an hour to do it. It seems like I'll be making alot more commission too... I haven't decided why I'm there yet because I really dislike one of my two co-workers... so I'm just trusting God's plan for me...

2) Brent has chosen to take the kids out of daycare and stay awake with them during the day. Basically, on the days we both work, he will sleep for a few hours in the morning while I'm still home, be awake til naptime, sleep during naptime, and then snag a few hours in the evening before he goes and works a full 9 hour shift during the night. This will save us $560 a month and make it possible to pay our bills. I'm still working through trusting my husband to raise my children, and I'm having to get over the broken heart I feel because I want to be the one at home with them but that's just not how God wants it for now. We've tried a million different scenarios and this is the right one and I cry at night thinking about how I wish is was me but its not. Brent will do great with the kids - don't get me wrong. They need their daddy. I just want it to be me. I am having to let go a significant amount of control and allow him to provide for us... its really hard.

3) I have very little time to blog, facebook, email... talk on the phone.... so if you want to talk to me, text me. I would love it right now cuz I'm sure needing some encouragement...

4) My BFF Tamara is loaning us her van indefinitely because we are down to the Suzuki and well it doesn't work right now either. I like the van and think I'll want one eventually.

5) I took Judah for his 3 mo well check today and he got a few shots. I was very proud of how educated of a decision I made in which vacs I wanted and which ones I didn't. The doctor gave me his advice (get em all) and talked about my concerns (side effects) and told me it was my job to decide what was best for my family. I was impressed because he didn't seem to judge me when I declined 2 of the 4 shots. I set up well checks for Raz and Alina (which I haven't had any since Jan 2009 because of a bad encounter with Alina's old dr...)

6) My house is a wreck... but my pantry is full. We got foodstamps for April, May and June at $750 a pop so I've stocked up on things that don't expire quickly and I've filled my M-I-L's deep freeze and I've cuponed my heart out and I've used it wisely. I loose it at the end of this month because of income.

Pray for me through this transition... I need it bad...